“It was in a church in Munich that I saw him—a balding, heavyset man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing out of the basement room where I had just spoken, moving along the rows of wooden chairs to the door at the rear. It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives.
“It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave them my favorite mental picture. Maybe because the sea is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s where forgiven sins were thrown. ‘When we confess our sins,’ I said, ‘God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. …’
“The solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to believe. There were never questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood up in silence, in silence collected their wraps, in silence left the room.
“And that’s when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!
[Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home during the Nazi occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at Ravensbruck concentration camp where we were sent.]
“Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: ‘A fine message, Fräulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!’
“And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course—how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women?
“But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face-to-face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.
“ ‘You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,’ he was saying, ‘I was a guard there.’ No, he did not remember me.
“ ‘But since that time,’ he went on, ‘I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fräulein,’ again the hand came out—’will you forgive me?’
“And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again to be forgiven—and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place—could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?
“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.
“For I had to do it—I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. ‘If you do not forgive men their trespasses,’ Jesus says, ‘neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.’
“I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
“And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. ‘… Help!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’
“And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
“ ‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart!’
“For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then.”
(taken from "I'm Still Learning to Forgive" by Corrie Ten Boom)
What Does it Mean to Forgive?
"All bitterness, anger and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ." Ephesians 4:31-32
"Forgiveness is a choice of the will, not the result of what feels right." (Forgivness acts on obedience, NOT feeling.)
"Forgiveness is letting the prisoner go, and recognizing that the prisoner is you."
"Forgiveness is taking the hurt and the pain on behalf of the one who caused it."
"Forgivenss is making the decision that somebody doesn't owe you anymore, its a decision to cancel that debt."
"Forgiveness doesn't make sense...unless you've been forgiven."
The Formula for Forgiveness
ACCEPT (Rom. 15:5-7)
-You are a product of the acceptance and rejection you have experienced in this life.
-We are far more open to the advice of someone who accepts us over someone who lectures us (ex. teens who listen to peers over parents.)
-We are not called to convince sinners...we are called to accept (then convince) sinners.
-We must build a bridge, not build a case.
SERVE (Galatians 5:14)
-Loving your neighbor as yourself is all about serving.
-The best way to deal with selfishness is to serve.
-If you continue to serve only yourself, you will eventually end up by yourself.
-Its hard to stay angry at somebody you serve.
ENCOURAGE (Hebrews 3:12-13)
-Encouragement is not just a decision, it's a path.
-We should appeal, beg and exhort in our encouragement.
-We must not only pray something. We must say something.
-Jesus never demanded the respect He deserved (Philippians 2). Out of the same heart, we are to put others before ourselves.
-It is difficult to have a relationship with someone who always pulls rank or exercises their authority.
-We submit out of reverence for God.
(taken, in part, from the teaching of Andy Stanley)